Breaking ties with a narcissist quickly and without drama may seem almost impossible. Being in a relationship with a person with a narcissistic personality disorder, can make the entire relationship extremely challenging. If you are in this type of relationship you probably are already experiencing quite a bit of stress. You may feel alone and even start to blame yourself. There’s a good reason for this.
An individual with a narcissistic personality disorder is usually focused on himself. (We’ll continue to say “he” to keep things simple, but it can also be a woman). A narcissistic personality disorder is defined as “a personality disorder in which people have an inflated opinion of themselves”, Healthline team.
In light of this it’s important to know that not all narcissistic behavior is on the exact same level. According to Dr. Fran Wallfish, “narcissism falls on a spectrum”. This means not everything is cut and dry, and there are different levels to this disorder, and if you are not a trained professional you can’t diagnose anyone.
With that being said there are still ways that can alert you to the behavior of an individual that is narcissistic. One of which is their level of selfishness. It is important to note that a person who has a high ego, or displays a high level of confidence isn’t the same as a narcissist. A narcissist displays an over the top level of selfishness with little to no regard to the other person’s feelings.
Unfortunately this presents some major challenges within a relationship. Usually there is little regard to your feelings and you may become extremely downhearted, depressed, and feel stuck. One trait of a narcissist is blaming others for all problems and never taking responsibility for their own actions. This is because narcissists tend to shift the blame from themselves onto the other person.
Breaking ties with a narcissist is no easy task. In fact, narcissists are really good at hiding their true personality at the beginning of the relationship. Likewise, it may make it difficult for you to see the truth. With that being said, a person can’t hide who they are forever. So eventually you will start to see the signs, you will just have to pay attention.
Eventually, when you start to realize the toxic nature of the person, you may find it hard to get out of the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with leaving a situation that is causing you harm. This allows time for them to get the help they need. However, if you’re having trouble breaking up with your narcissistic partner with a clean break and little drama, keep reading.
You may have a situation where you are connected via accounts such as social media, shared phone plans, or other joint accounts. If this is the case, you will need to remove yourself from those accounts. This will help you to distance yourself. You do this to remove the attachment on a technical level. Taking these steps will help when detaching ties that require more effort or worse even legal matters. But if you act quickly you will be one step closer to breaking ties from the narcissistic partner.
Did you two share an apartment or house? In the midst of the end of the relationship, you may have to move out. If this is the case you may experience some challenges. For one, you may be tied to a lease. In this situation you may not be able to just remove yourself from it easily. But there are a couple of things you can do.
First, talk to the landlord, perhaps you could work out an agreement in which you can pay a settlement amount of half the rent equal to your portion for the rest of the term. You may be surprised at what some landlords will work out for you in a difficult situation.
Another idea would be just to pay a portion of your rent until the end of the term. This is not ideal but it may be a last resort. Pay your amount directly to the landlord to avoid having to communicate with your ex. Breaking ties with a person with a narcissistic behavior disorder may be difficult especially when you shared living arrangements. On the other hand, it is possible when you stick to decision and don’t cave in.
Breaking ties with a narcissist will come with its challenges. You may have to contend with manipulation, begging, or even anger. With that being said, it’s best to end the relationship as smoothly as you can. Make it clear that this relationship is no longer good for either of you. Let him know that his happiness is at stake here too. He could never truly be happy with someone who is not happy with him. Try not to point fingers and use words that point the blame. Words such as “you are this” and “you did that”. Instead when talking say things like “we should take a break because it’s best for both of us”.
You may encounter a situation in which your partner feels too attached. With that being the case, he may not want to let you go easily. As a result he may plea for you to work things out. In this case you will need to remain firm and make it clear that the relationship is over and at this point there is no chance of working things out.
You may feel like you should give him another chance. But you should take caution with this thinking. Remembering why you chose to break ties in the first place will help you to solidify your decision. You deserve to be happy. Living in a toxic environment will not bring happiness instead it will cause more stress. No matter how good his words are now or how they make you feel, it won’t change the truth of the matter, you are not happy in this relationship.
In some cases you may have become disconnected with your family. If so, try reconnecting with them. You could use the support and love from people who truly care about you. You may have had disagreements in the past, but let them know you could use the support and a loving family will be there for you.
Perhaps you have been cut off from your friends. Now is a good time to reconnect with them. Support from those who care about you will help you get through this difficult situation.
After having a long or short relationship with a narcissist, you might have some mixed feelings. You may have regrets or feel that you did something wrong. Or you may feel that you will never get through this. If you feel overwhelmed you do have options. In the event that you do not feel you have the support from friends or family you can speak with a professional. Better U 2Day Coaching provides many options for you to choose from. The good thing about time, is that it truly does heal. Don’t expect everything to immediately go back to normal after the breakup. Everything takes time, but in time you will be able to move on and get through this.