Has your boyfriend recently informed you that he wants to take a break from the relationship? This can be a shocking thing for you, especially if you weren’t expecting it. What should you do?
First of all, it may be a good idea to find out more about the situation. So try to have a conversation about why he feels that way. Perhaps he’s dealing with another issue that has nothing to do with you or the relationship.
If after speaking with him you determine that he really does want to take a break from the relationship, you have to determine what you should do next. In this article, we are going to guide you with some tips that will help you to cope with the situation.
Evaluate Your Wants and Needs
Now that you know that he wants to take a break, you need to determine what you want. You have to ask yourself if this relationship is worth fighting for. Or if it’s not. If you feel it is worth fighting for you can respect his wishes and give him his space. Maybe in time you may be able to work things out. But in the event that you’re not able to, you will have to find a way to move on and figure out what you should do.
Depending on how long you’ve spent in this relationship you may have had a strong attachment to your partner. This may be a devastating and crushing situation. You may have had long term plans, maybe even marriage. On the other hand, once you know for sure he’s no longer interested in making the relationship work you have to decide what you should do. When it comes down to it, you have two choices.
You can either wait for him to decide that he no longer needs a break, or you can move on with your life. Either way you have to make a decision because in order to move on with your life you need to understand where you are mentally and where you want to be. As difficult as it might be, the decision you make now will impact your happiness in the future.
Stick to Your Decision
Once you decide on what you want, stick with it. It’s true that you have a right to change your mind, and it’s nothing wrong with that. But what you don’t want to do is go back and forth. Constantly changing your mind won’t do anyone any good. In fact it will make it difficult if not impossible to move on with your life. Your partner has made a decision and so should you.
Take a Break from Social Media
Social media can be used for good. On the other hand, that is not always the case. People typically post on social media the best part of their lives, or they present an image that is an exaggeration of what they want you to see. Usually this involves relationship posts. Pictures of couples that appear happy, engagements, marriage, and a host of other things that can make you feel downhearted.
Relationship-related posts and photos on social media can make you remember your past relationship. Apart from that, different posts, shares, and comments on social media platforms can affect you. Along with that you may come across posts from your partner that can stir up sadness and memories. Worst yet, if the reason for him wanting to take a break is because of a new relationship or another interest, it may be difficult for you to see.
Take Care of Yourself
After parting ways it’s normal to have feelings of sadness and distress. You may be replaying the last few weeks or even months of the relationship. In addition you may start to blame yourself or think you did something wrong. When you think this way it’s easy to become depressed.
In turn you may start to neglect yourself. Avoid doing this by practicing self care . Take the time to focus on yourself. Start off with the basics making sure you’re getting adequate sleep, exercising, and doing small things that you enjoy. Then once you’re able, choose a larger goal to work towards.
Do What You Love
In addition to taking care of yourself, you should start to think of things you love to do. You should start living your life on your own terms. In your leisure, you can do the activities that you enjoy. Use this free time to do the things that you always wanted to do but maybe never had enough time for.
Make a list similar to a bucket list, of all the things or places you would like to go. Then actually plan on doing them one by one. This does two things. One, it takes your mind off of your current situation, and two it allows you to truly focus on yourself, probably something you haven’t really focused on doing in a long time.
Avoid Suppressing your Feelings
Suppressing your feelings won’t help. You won’t be able to get over the negative feelings if you don’t express them. Keeping the negative thoughts bound in your mind will make you stressed, and you might start to shut down mentally. This is why you shouldn’t suppress your feelings.
Find a trusted friend or someone you can confide in. Revealing your feelings will help you to relieve the pressure of dealing with this all alone. As a word of caution, make sure the person you confide in, is someone you can trust. Choosing the wrong person will only lead to rumors, and more stress for you. If you feel you are struggling on a deeper level, it may be good to speak to a dedicated breakup coach. You can find out more here.
Accept and Let Go
Accepting the relationship has ended is an important key to heal your mind. Without acceptance you keep the feelings bottled up. You stay in the same place never moving forward. Once you accept what is, you can truly move on and be free.
Don’t Be So Quick to Move On
Give yourself enough time before you start looking for a new relationship. Tempting as it might be to rush into a new relationship, this is actually proven not to be the best idea. True, it may make you feel good short term, but eventually you may start to see that this is just a temporary fix. You need to dig deep within yourself, and this takes time. Time to heal and learn who you are and what you truly need.